


Five Things Weiss Never Told Vaughn

by supergrover24



Category: Alias
Genre: 5 Things, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-09
Updated: 2006-09-09
Packaged: 2017-11-08 07:31:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/440748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supergrover24/pseuds/supergrover24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the title implies...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Things Weiss Never Told Vaughn

1\. Weiss has this theory that he’s attracted to evil and bad-ass. If you were to look in his mind and cull through his fantasies, you’d see him with Irina, tied down to the bed or something. Go a little further and you’d find held at knife-point by Anna Espinosa, begging her to let him come. He could probably share that stuff with Vaughn, but Eric knows he wouldn’t be able to shut up because they’d have to be drinking to have this conversation, and then the next thing he knew, he’d be detailing his daddy fantasies about Jack and the back alley frottage sessions with _Sark_.

Some things Vaughn just doesn’t need to know.

2\. The only time Vaughn enters into his brain like that is after a mission when Vaughn speaks French and wears leather. Enough said.

3\. Weiss strongly suspected that Lauren was evil. Why else would he have been so attracted to her? But he kept his mouth shut, because Vaughn deserved some happiness after Syd’s not-death. Plus? Vaughn has an excellent right hook, and Weiss has always been a lover not a hater.

4\. Syd is one person (well, and _Marshall_ ) he’s never thought about that way. He got as far as thinking about kissing her once and decided she’d cry all the way through it, like Cho Chang and Harry Potter.

He guesses that’s two things he’d never tell Vaughn. Harry Potter is just another dirty little secret. And really, he only read them because his name is Eric Weiss and Houdini’s real name was _Ehrich Weiss_ so it only makes sense that he is interested in magic.

Shut up.

5\. Perhaps the one thing he could tell Vaughn—but hasn’t, because it’s embarrassing—is that when he was recovering from the shot in the neck by Irina, so drugged up, in and out of it, he dreamt that he had this whole other life somewhere. He lived in New York—of all places—with a bunch of college-aged kids. He wanted to be an entrepreneur—kept inventing things, like gross condiments and musical condoms. Syd was some guy’s ex-girlfriend named Hannah (and still looked like she’d cry if you kissed her), Marshall was a club kid and that mousy Carrie (that at the time was just there in the building), but ended up marrying Marshall? In this weird New York world, her name was Megan and he, Weiss, (er, Blumberg—he had his mother’s maiden name) was madly in love with her! They got married and she was a Wiccan, and kind of mean.

Come to think of it, Wiccan is a witch, so yeah—too close to the evil things and the Harry Potter thing. Vaughn will never be told any of this.

This paper will self-destruct ten seconds after you read it. 


End file.
